At one point long ago we tried the whole allowance thing with the caveat that in order to get the allowance, we wouldn't remind you to do your chores. If you did them, you'd let us know and Friday would be payday. A couple weeks went something like this:
"Hey, what day is it?"
-"It's Friday."
"I forgot all my chooooorresss!!! Waaaaahhhhh!"
We quickly realized this was not the way for us and came to the decision that if the chore was something you would be called on to do in your adult daily life (assuming no live-in help) then we wouldn't be paying you to do it at our house. Each boy gets chores that are within his capabilities without help from us and rather than simply assigning them, we give a few different options to choose from and they can create their own responsibilities. Today when we talked about it, Flynn decided that after a year he's had enough of table setting and would like to move to dish washing some nights, which I think is crazy but I'm gladly willing to accommodate.
It's also essential that they help because 1. We live in a small home for 4 people and 2 dogs (roughly 1100 square feet with no garage) and things get funky very quickly 2. Jonah goes to preschool 3 mornings a week and I work from home. I could easily spend that precious time doing housework rather than work-work 3. They go to Waldorf school and won't have homework until 3rd or 4th grade, leaving plenty of time to play and still finish chores. Here's a little run-down of what each guy is doing:
7 years old
- Make bed every morning
- Help make younger brother's bed
- Have backpack ready for school
- Prepare any sports stuff
- On bath nights, set and clear table
- On non-bath nights, do all dishes (seriously, this will be a life lesson)
- Spend 5 minutes helping prepare lunch for school
- Lay out clothes for the next morning
- Tidy up bookshelves each night
- Brush dogs
- Read every day
- Sort laundry
3 1/2 years old
- Put pillows and friends onto bed every morning
- Put on own clothes
- Have a vague idea where backpack is
- Come to breakfast table with a minimal amount of screaming, crawling or moaning
- Responsible for catching all bugs that come into the house
- Responsible for helping with all baked goods
- Help clear table
- Take all used cloth napkins from table to laundry after dinner
- Feed dogs at night
- Sweep floor after dinner
- Tidy up toys at night
Yes, we have to nudge sometimes, and yes, we have to demand sometimes but for the most part we're very consistent and it's gotten easier. They are still fairly little and I'm willing to do pretty much whatever it takes to help them find some joy in their work so if that means speaking in a British accent while you sweep or listening to Janet Jackson while you clean that's totally fine. As they get older, more chores get added. Around 10 years old the hammer really comes down when they have to start doing their own laundry and each kid will be responsible for one family meal each week. They'll find or create the recipe, shop for ingredients, cook and serve it.
Since there is no allowance offered we give Flynn opportunities to earn money by doing additional bigger jobs. The boys are working towards getting a bunny so they need to save up for alllll the supplies that go with it and this part has worked out so well. For example, one Saturday he organized my closet, cleaned out the fridge and cleaned the front porch for $15. We were both ecstatic at the end of the day!
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